


Weird

by rikkafish



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-29
Updated: 2012-07-29
Packaged: 2017-11-10 23:54:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/472123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rikkafish/pseuds/rikkafish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat just wants to sleep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Weird

"Hey, you know what's weird?"

Karkat opened one tired eye and looked at his boyfriend in vague annoyance. He could only just see his outline, since the room was so dark, but he was eying the shadowy curve of John's nose with no small amount of irritation. So it was going to be one of those nights? One of those nights where John was thinking too hard and he was going to bug Karkat until he talked himself to sleep.

"It'll be pretty weird when I murder you because you keep waking me up with these fucking inane questions," he grumbled, rolling over so he has his back to John.

John, used to these empty threats, just continued, taking Karkat's words as acknowledgment of his question. "The word weird is weird," he said.

"You're weird," Karkat groaned.

Continuing to ignore the grumpy troll, John kept talking. "You know how most words lose their meaning and start to sound like not-words the more you say them? That just happens with weird the first time you say it."

Karkat rolled onto his back and looked at John. "Go to sleep," he said.

John turned onto his side, closing the space between them. Even though Karkat couldn't see him, he knew he was giving him that look, the one Karkat couldn't resist, with the big eyes and the slightly turned down mouth. He looked like a sad baby barkbeast and it always made Karkat feel like a huge heel.

He groaned and rubbed one of his eyes with the hand John wasn't half laying on. "Fine. Yes. The word 'weird' is pretty fucking weird. A lot of things are weird. Bananas, for instance, are weird," he said.

"Bananas are pretty normal," John said. "They are just fruit."

Ever since coming to Earth, bananas had bothered Karkat. John liked them and usually bought a couple when they went to the grocery store, but Karkat thought it was strange to have a fruit that you didn't eat the peel for. He didn't trust oranges, either.

"I looked bananas up on the internet, did you know that they aren't naturally curved?" Karkat asked. "Why did humans insist on making them curved like that? So they fit in your hand better? Then why not do that for every fruit and vegetable that is not crescent-shaped?"

"Bananas are--"

"You know what else is weird? Mayonnaise," Karkat said. "I asked you what was in it, you said you didn't know. You don't know what it's made of and you're still eating it."

"It's obviously safe--" John tried to interrupt.

"I looked it up. The internet is just fucking full of weird information. You know what mayonnaise is? Eggs and oil. You take little unborn cluckbeasts and mix them with the secretions of a plant until they form a weird-- there's that word again-- homogenous, off-white glop that you spread on bread. Apparently it's also good in cake!"

"Cake? But--"

"And don't get me started about dreams," Karkat continued, ignoring John's repeated attempts to interrupt him. "Have you ever thought about dreaming? I mean, really thought about it. And I don't mean, oh, I had a nice dream about Matthew McConaughey's butt last night, I mean, have you thought about the actual act of dreaming? You fall unconscious, voluntarily, and the vividly hallucinate for several hours, and then wake up and forget most of it. And everyone treats this as perfectly normal? This is a normal thing that happens and no one worries about?"

Karkat could hear the confused frown in John's voice. "Do trolls not--"

"Yes, John, trolls dream. That doesn't make it any less fucking weird," Karkat said. "Is there anything else you wanted to bring up? Anything weird, perhaps? Maybe you'd like to talk about something you find amusing? Or boring? Or are you going to shut up long enough to let me fall asleep?"

John was quiet for a moment, then he shifted, scooting forward enough to kiss Karkat on the cheek. "Love you," he mumbled.

Karkat rolled his eyes, but he couldn't stop the small smile on his lips. "Love you, too, dipshit," he said. "Now--?"

"Yeah, good night," John said, resting his head on Karkat's shoulder.

Karkat let out a slow breath and closed his eyes, finally relaxing a bit. "Good night," he responded.

"...you weirdo."

"Oh, shut up."


End file.
